Me and Spoorthy are relatives. She is my cousin’s brother daughter. Her parents have seen me from my birth and used to like me the way I was the person of my words, my boldness, the way I used to analysis things and my straight forward nature, but things entirely change when they encountered our love. As I earlier said, I was a person who was never into family and relationship so have hardly attended any of my family functions and have never ever gelled with my cousin’s, but the case was entirely different for Spoorthy since the beginning. Feels like god had always written our destiny from the day Spoorthy was born. When she was born in 1996, I was staying in Delhi, but to see her me and my mom came from Delhi, I still remember the day when I took her first in my hands and made her to sleep on my laps when I was 8 years old may be in my early class 2nd. Than when we shifted to Bangalore, she used to come to my home when she was in her 6th STD and I was in my B.com and also I had started working by than as soon as I used to come to home, I used to play with her, take her out for snacks, make her to feed food and used to make her sleep in my arms next to me by giving her a gentle kiss on her forehead and by patting her make her asleep, but that time who knew she will become love of my life and for rest of my life after 15 years all this will repeat again for the rest of our life, but this time name of our relationship was already changed, this time she was just not my cousin and my brother’s daughter, but now she is my life (WIFE) without whom I cannot even be for a day.
Our first meeting after so many years was in her home. One day before my birthday as on October 2016, when her parents continuously called me to their home as I never used to visit any of our family person place. To be very frank, I had started developing feeling for Spoorthy since August 2016, when I wished her on her birthday, but did not say it ever, but just to see her photos, which she used to post on FB, as I felt it is wrong. There was a question within myself: How can I love my own brothers’ daughter, which will make a drift in our families, but could not stop myself when I went to their home and expressed all my feelings to her and confessed her about all my previous relationship, which I had earlier. As I am a person who strongly believes, one should start any relationship with truth, and there should not be any lies. She did not understand what I was talking about or trying to explain her. When I was telling about my feelings to her, she said me that maybe you are missing your ex’s so you are telling me all this and said no to our relationship. She said she will never go against their parents’ wishes as they have so many dreams about her marriage and life, after which I never said her anything, and just blocked her from all the social sites and felt very bad for the first time because as a person I had never heard no till date from anyone and had got everything even before asking, but this time I was not angry, but was really sad that she did not understand my love, which I wanted to share with her, which was not like my previous affairs. She was not the one who was like passing clouds, I just wanted to lead my complete life with her.
After a day she message me on my normal chat, as I had blocked her from everywhere, she said she wanted to see me, meet me, as she has so many unanswered questions which she has to ask me, so we met on October 11, 2016. To be very honest, one day without her felt that like ages. When we met, we were so happy to see each other, she said she would want to give our relationship a name. She said one and half day which she spent with me from Oct 8th evening to Oct 10th morning was her special moment of her life, the way I showed love and cared her. She said that she felt that she was missing something really very special in her life, which she has never felt like this all these years and the day when she said no to our relationship even while doing any work or talking to her parents tears would roll out of her eyes without her knowledge and not able to understand what was happening within her. After she shared her feelings to me, I holded her hands and for the first ever time in my life, I gave someone commitment that whatsoever happens I will never ever leave your hand. We roamed for a while nearby, had pastries and left her to her class which was near my house and again eagerly waiting to meet her. By the time, she finished her class, I had purchased a ring, proposed her by giving her a ring as a token of our love for the lifetime and from that day not even a single day she has removed it.
Our love life in the relationship was very short, we had made all efforts since than to meet each other regularly. I used to finish my office and go to her evening college which used to be 40 KMS away just to see her for 10 minutes and grab a cup of coffee, than used to leave her near her home and go back to my house, get freshed up son and waiting to hit bed so that we could chat over again, and used to wake up early morning to have a talk while she used to come to terrace for studying. We never used to leave a single chance to meet each other even on weekend she used to bunk her classes just for me, as she was a girl who has never ever bunked a single class of her till she met me and those 3 to 4 months of our relationship, our bonding had become so strong that we had started planning for our future, I made her understood all the consequences, which might happens in future, and when my love said she is ready to face it, we together started taking household item, clothes for her (as I had told her that whenever you leave your home, you will not bring any of your belonging apart from what she was wearing and not even a gold chain, which she was wearing). Our main motto was to understand each other so well and to fill each other heart with love, which time or anyone cannot ever take, but our honeymoon period did not end up last. On Feb 7th, 2017, we are still no sure how did her parents came to know about us or who informed us about our meeting. We had no plan of meeting each other on that day, but that day I was very anxious to meet her and I was feeling something was going to happen if I do not meet her, as usual I was waiting outside her college as soon as she finished her college, we had a quick coffee, had a normal conversation, hugged her, kissed her, and left near her home and I left for my home. As soon as she went to her home, her father (My Cousion Brother) asked her to show her phone and read all our messages, which we used to send on regular basis. We were never in the habit of deleting our messages and never felt to delete it anytime. At the same time, she messaged me from her father’s number informing me that “DAD HAS COME TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT US”. After reading all the messages, her father gave her back the phone to her and without anybody knowledge she gave me a call and from other end I was listening the complete conversation which was happening at her home. He started asking her what is happening between you and Sindhur, why are we meeting regularly, why have you send so many messages to her. Literally, in messages we used to send every bit of the moment we used to share whenever we were not with each other. As I knew, Spoorthy was a person who was very soft, who would never speak opposite to her parents, but for the first time when her parents asked her question and when she replied to them, I was totally in shock to listen her. She said I message Sindhur as I really like her a lot, and she cannot be without me and when her parents asked to choose anyone, she said she want both of us as she love both me and her parents equally and said them if by chance if she will ever marry she would marry me itself rather than anyone and she sees her father in me, the way I love her, care her and my nature all resembles to her father. As everyone knows, Dad is always the first hero of daughter and mainly daughter would always see her love of life to be like her father who would take care of her like a baby, protect her from all the problem before it reaches to her and always stand with her in any situation. At the very same time, I made my father listen what was happening at her home and told him, I will always stand with her whatever happens. My father said to end this relationship then and there, I said when a person like her can stand up for me, no matter what happens, even if I have to end up my life for her, I will stand for our relationship.
I tried contacting her father, literally begged him to meet me but he did not meet me at all, I said let’s talk everything will be sorted if we sit and discuss, but that day haven’t come up even after 2.5 years of our relationship also. Instead, he told me you don’t know what I will do to you, I know all MLAs, DONs and make sure you will not be alive, so on the contrary I also said if you know, I also know all the people whom you are talking about, but before that I need to speak Spoorthy, but for which he never allowed. Things started getting worse for Spoorthy, she was house arrested, she was mentally and sometimes physically harassed as well. Her parents used to sit outside her college in order we would not get any chance. I had no clue what was happening at her place, I started calling Spoorthy from all telephone boot but all the time her parents used to lift the call and we did not get any chance to speak to each other for a week time. I was in the hope that, one day she would call me and I was waiting for the chance to speak to her, by than I had took one small phone and sim so that if she would ever call me I would inform her that I am there with her and not to worry and on May 16th, I get a call from her when she was shifted to her granny place, I just said her not to talk too much, just listen to me and I asked her if she is going to her classes, she sad yes today she will go in the evening, so I said I have arranged a phone for her and also a person who will come and hand over the phone to her in between the staircase as her mother always used to sit below her class, so we planned to give hand over the phone and which was successfully done. After that, I was eagerly waiting for her call and on May 17th, I received a call from her, she informed me everything which was happening there, I informed her to be calm and relaxed and not to retort on whatever their parents say, but try to make them understand about our love in the hope that they will understand as even their parents had love marriage 25 years ago and would understand the pain what we would be going through but it was very misfortunate that they did not accept our love.
Her father took her to some Human Rights, and introduced Spoorthy as her friend daughter and said that she is in same sex relationship and for that Mr. Sreedhar (Human Right) person informed her that they will harm us, make our life miserable, put chili powder to our private parts and destroy our life. At that time, when all this issue happened I never knew if their was some LGBT Community as well. As we had phone now, we both started searching if there were some community, I started connecting to everyone, all trust in Bangalore, every person who had written in their Facebook in BOLD LETTERs that we are their to support, but no one helped us and not even trust which was in Bangalore instead that person started asking me what will you do, how you will do, you should be ready. So that day, I told Spoorthy that no one will support anyone or help us, if we love each other come-what-may we only have to fight and stand for our love and we did. One of the person in that community informed me about ALF (Alternative Law Forum), which is a NGO who helps people to get their rights like Domestic Violence, Labor, Gender and Sexuality, where we met few people like Sunil, Sumati, Ramya and Darshana, hopefully I got a chance to met three of them at the first meeting itself. I went there in the month of March 2016 approached them and informed them about all the incident, which had happened till date. They asked me, if it is possible for me to bring Spoorthy to their office as they have to talk to her in person and she has to give things in writing to them. We were waiting for a chance after that if we could make it to ALF together, till than she used to pretend at home that she has become normal now, but we were in continuous talk and also even after all this we did not stop meeting each other even after so much protection given to her at home with their knowledge, as there is a saying With so much desire I wanted you, and the whole world helped me in getting you. People say that if you love someone with your heart then the whole world tries to get you close to him/her. At ALF, they suggested us to be calm for some days and told her to finish her B.com as studies was also important, they have always been in touch with us whenever we asked for. Our love for each other and regular talking kept Spoorthy very strong even after all her mental traumas, wherein she had to enact everything was fine at her home. While she was managing in her home, I was getting our house settled here we could stay after her exam, seeing ALF people on regular basis, lawyers, and arranging house hold items. Later, I collected all her original documents from her home when Spoorthy parents were not available at home and kept all duplicate certificate at home with colour lamination, so that her parents would not get any doubt.
We tried to make their parents understand whenever we used to get chance, but they never accepted us or our love, than on April 19th, we went to ALF gave a written statement to lawyers that she will be leaving from her home after her exams which was on May 17, 2017, for the harassment which she was facing at her home and the same copies will go to the police as well when she would leave her place. In the month of May 2017, her exams started and we were waiting for the late exam even at her home they were aware that she will leave her home after her exams and even they had made all sorts of arrangements, and on the last day of her exam her father itself went to exam centre and dropped her and was waiting out. Luckily Spoorthy finished her exam within 45 mins as it was optional one, may be that time her father was not out assuming exam will finish at least 2 hours. That particular day we felt the invigilator was sent by the god to help us, he asked Spoorthy if you have finished exam you can leave for the day and as soon as she finished her exam she called me asking what has to be done, I said her to check if her dad was around, and if not take a auto and leave from their instead of OLA or Uber and had arranged a person half a way to pick her up and drop her to the PG, which we had looked for her. I have never seen her PG, as I was worried if police might conduct lie detector test I will be caught, so had informed few of my colleagues to help me out to look for a PG, by than we had opened a bank account Spoorthy with the help of the people we knew and had put few necessary amount in her account so that it would not be a problem for her at least for the next 10 days, which was going to be very critical for us. I was expecting her father to give me a call me at least by 5:30 or 6:00 PM, as I said above her father was aware that Spoorthy will leave, but I was in a shock and was scared as well within he came to my office directly around 4 PM itself along with my dad and mom them. My mom made a scene near my office and her dad asked me where is Spoorthy for which I said I had no idea where she is and we were never in contact since February after her dad threatened me, just they came to my home which I had made it in HSR Layout and kept on asking me but as said my answer remained the same that I am unsure where her daughter was. In this incident, my few friend and collegues helped me a lot as I had handed over my one more phone to them through which I was in contact with Spoorthy and just had my personal number with me. Her father warned me that he is going to file complaint against me if I do not tell her where she is. I said, I am not aware where Spoorthy was and you can go ahead and give a complain against me after 3 hours of interrogation from my parents and Spoorthy’s father they went to their home, and as soon as they left after sometime I went to my colleagues place took my phone and contacted Spoorthy to know if she was safe and reached the PG and if everything was sorted and told her to be calm and have dinner and sleep and told her “I LOVE YOU A LOT”, and informed her whatever police had asked me, as later one day when police will enquire her both our answers have to be same, which happened in a movie called “DRISHAYAM”. On 18th morning, I called Spoorthy dad if they are coming to meet me or if they got any clue about her, but by than they had given a complaint against me on kidnap charges and as her father was a priest he has got support of MLA of Vijayanagar wherein the case became much more strong against me. I was getting continuous calls from Vijaynagar police station to come and attend, but as lawyer had informed me not to go whatsoever happen, so was abided to them as they suggested me for my betterment and did not go to police station and requested my parents to be silent if they knew anything about mine and Spoorthy relationship as I had told them about her love, and had briefed them something would happen and even police case might happen so in case if anything happens to me call few people who were my lawyers whom was assisting me and few people were from political person who had assured me that if something happens they will talk to the MLA of Vijayanagar as both person were from the same party and both were well connected. After police repetitive calls, when I did not go to station for the next one day. Two police people, Spoorthy’s Father and her uncle came to my home and wrote a written statement and told me to come to station tomorrow and by any chance, if I did not go they will pick me from my home itself the next day morning, same thing I informed to our lawyer, but our lawyer said not to do, but this time I did not listen to them and took a step to go and confront police or else thinking they would arrest me from my house. On May 20th around 11:00 morning, I went to Vijayanagar police station where all Spoorthy relatives had come and started screaming at me, and even police was irate at me as I did not go to station for 2 days even after their continuous call, even they started shouting at me and the interrogation went up to 2 to 3 hours, but my answers was the same that I was unaware where Spoorthy is and I remained firm on my statement that we had no contact since February and many conversations and heated arguments happened between me, their family and police and they said if I won tell the truth they will put me in a jail. My mom was continuously calling my lawyer at the moment when I was supposed to go inside the jail, he came and said that on what basis are they arresting me and said they had some news about Spoorthy and her lawyer is also on the way and Spoorthy is fine and with them at ALF. As soon as, both our lawyers came, police in a fraction of seconds changed the tone against me in the way they were talking and screaming at me from so long and took statement from my end and left me. At the same time, Spoorthy lawyer came and said she is fine and is in their custody and facing too much of mental and physical harassment from her family so she want to lead her life by her own and later informed us that we should not meet each other or stay we each other for year or so, but we could not be away from each our and starting staying together. After I came to my home, I spoke to Spoorthy and informed her ever bit what happened in the station and told her that no need to worry everything will be fine, just that she has to be strong as very soon she will be called for interrogation. From May 20th to May 25th, Spoorthy and her lawyers met every police official like Commissioner, ACP, DCP and gave the statement in front of them and at last Vijayanagar police SI Spoorthy with lawyers, NGO people and in front of them took her statement along with video and selfie at the last to confirm that she is fine and its Spoorthy will and wish to leave her family and stay separately. So, hopefully all police case was eventually ended up there. I must thank and tell that, ALF and people who were there were helpful throughout the journey and I will be really grateful to them till the end of my life.
After that, we could not be without each other, so we taught it would not be safe as of now to stay together so for couple of days we stayed in hotels after I used to finish my work and weekend we used to go out of the Bangalore so that we do not encounter our family and get into trouble, but we loved us so much that even a single day without each other could not be possible for us. My main responsibility at that time was to get Spoorthy a job, and she got one as well at Go.zefo in the month on June 2017 and we started living together at our HSR house with love and also with bit fear as we had no clue when her parents might barge into our home with someone as we had no one to support us in LGBT community as no one had helped us when we had asked for a favour. Few days things went on well, we both were very confident about our love and was ready to face any worst situation, so we were accept what worst can happens after police case, they might go to media or maximum extent they might kill me. So after few days, I got a threatening letter to my office that they will break my hands and legs and make my life more worse wherein I will not be able to stand in my whole life, thinking that I will go ahead and give police complaint, but I did not give any such complaint as according to me any parent would have done same thing as they would have raised their child for so long and the love for them will make them to do so, but by coincidence my break wire of my bike got jammed and while lead to my accident where I was minimally hurt, but never mind we had other plans after accident we went to Mysore to take blessings of god who had kept us strong to fight with all this situations.
As we earlier taught, what worse can happen, I started getting calls to form Mahila Sahayavani that there is a complaint against me that I have kidnapped her daughter, so wherein I informed that this case was given by Spoorthy parents two months before, but now this is proved that it was not to kidnap and she was not willing to stay at parents house and she wants to do something of her own now and now she is staying with me as her office is also at HSR layout and they kept calling me, but I did not respond to them after few days I started getting calls from newspaper agencies that they are making it public and started threatening me if I do not come to their forum and give statement for them they will portray me in a wrong way and bring shame to me and my family, I was anxious about what would happen next and on July 5th morning, our lawyers and my colleagues started calling me to go in look of the paper and informed me that your story has come in front page of the newspaper with the tag line as BangaloreMirror: All hell breaks loose as two women wed in Koramangala wherein the majority of the story was false and without asking our permission they had put this is news. Local Kannada News “PUBLIC TV” took our photos from our Facebook and hardly mobbed it and started portraying us in a wrong way and starting abusing our love. When their thinking is wrong about love, how can our love be wrong and that time it was so new to me so I had no idea what to do, and for the first time all of a sudden I started getting calls from LGBT Community people who were seeking help from so long, they made us stay at their place. Because of media attention to our story, Spoorthy was forced to leave her job and when the call came from her office, we were in front of lawyers and NGO people and as a token of apology Bangalore Mirror again ‘They called at 11 am and asked if I wanted to continue in my job. By 5.30 pm, they had asked me to leave’ after this issue we stayed for few days in Hotels and started looking for a new home and got one and within day or two we shifted all our belonging as I wanted to stay with love and dignity as love is not a crime and not with fear or anxiety.
Ups and downs are always there in life, but true love and trust for each other will overcome every bit of it. I have never hidden our relationship in front of anyone, I consider Spoorthy as my better half and whenever I introduce her to my friend, I introduce her the same. Whichever company we work now, we will inform them in prior that we both are married and I am married to a girl and it’s up to them if they have to take us in their organization. I guess for job, skills, and talent is required and not your love life. We never taught our love is wrong, we worship our love and always make a point to stand for each other in any situation. To be very frank, even unknown people who see us ask if by any chance we are a couple as they see the love in our eyes and the care and love, which we have for each other. We just want to say everyone that, if anyone will take a stand for their love in initial days of problem and just trust your love problems will come, but have courage to face it, because when love is true it is always worth to stand for it and we are really happy today with each other.
Since my childhood, I had always been interested in girls, but due to society and our cultural bonding taught I am the only person who feels this, and there should be something wrong with me. Even though I was in multiple relationship with girls earlier, could not come out in society, nor was able to share my feelings to the most, but when I saw Spoorthy (My Better half) I did not care about anything what just matter to me was our love, our future and to become hers’ forever and came out to my family and society.
We just want to make everyone understand that “LOVE is just LOVE” and it’s not Crime. LOVE is beyond GENDERs. You need two people to love each other and not gender.
In my experience, DESIRE is DESIRE, LOVE is LOVE. I have never fallen in love with a gender. I have fallen for individuals. I know this is hard for people to do, but I don’t understand why it’s so hard when it’s so obvious.
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